So what is Soul Integrity???

Fall of 2012, I did my first OBS...So what is OBS? Online Bible Study. We studied the book "Unglued" by Lysa Terkeurst which I would recommend anyone of any walk of life to pick up your copy today you would not regret. I first heard of Lysa on K-Love. I was in a state of searching and hungry for more of God. Not only that, I knew in my heart I needed to change but I am not talking about a little change. I knew I was in need of a complete transformation with a new and balance relationship with God. Like many people, I would say "yea I serve Jesus" "I go to church sometimes" "I am an alright mom" "I am good wife" the list of convincing myself of the things that I was so called doing came down to one question that I had for myself, "was I really doing what was pleasing to God in action and words?" So, my OBS taught me to be honest with myself. Which lets be real, that is hard to do sometimes. I had to open my heart, my mind, and be real. Which had brought me to this place. Along the way, I learned that I am very much an unglued momma. I am not just an unglued momma but I am mainly "exploder" with some "stuffing" at times. I know that is hard to believe for those that really know me. I was born in a roller coaster of emotions with no idea how to control them. I felt like bull rider being swung from one end of the bull to other but the thing is I didn't even know how to hang on for the ride. I was thrown from one end of the spectrum to the other end. Now, if I was God I would of gave up on me a long time ago. But nope, He wasn't done with me as a teenager and He is not done with me now. So here we are.... Soul Integrity is my deepest heart desire to find, live, breath, and have it's way in me....According to Lysa's book Unglued this is what soul integrity is.

Soul Integrity is honesty that's godly. It brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus where honesty and godliness embrace and balance each other.

Something has changed in me in the last couple of months...I am not saying I haven't had my moments where I felt like I could blow up like a shook up pop bottle, because I have. I am a working progress wife, mother, daughter, and woman. I know their are times where I know God has taken my words away just like God did with Zachariah. I recently heard a message by Joel Osteen that has set my heart on fire...If you have nothing positive to say then ZIP IT! I am a Working Progress in my relationships with family members, husband, my parents, and children. I found myself looking in the mirror and asking myself do I really want my daughter and son to ride the same roller coaster that I have always been on? NO WAY! So if I didn't want that to happen then I needed to do something about it...Getting a Grip literally!

Throughout this working progress, I have to admit I have asked God many questions. Why in the heck couldn't I be like so and so because they are so calm, quiet, passive, relax life would be so much easier...God gently reminded me to carry my own load.

Galatians 6:4-5 New International Version (NIV) 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load.

Something else about Soul Integrity that I found is important is how and what you are saying to yourself. What kind of labels are you speaking because I know the labels I have been speaking out of my mouth since I was a child and it is not good. Learning to stop speaking untrue words that is against what God says we are...The bible talks a lot about the our tongue and what we are saying.

James 3:9-12 The Message (MSG) 7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?

That hurts...I remember one time that I was sitting and meeting with my Pastor wife as a teenager and she gave me an assignment that was getting a poster board and writing out all the scriptures I could find on the tongue and words we speak. I found a lot but I am sure I could of found more if I put more into it...We speak words daily, some people talk more than others but just because we think it doesn't mean we have to speak it. I challenge each of us this week, get a notebook and write out scriptures on words you will be amazed on what God really says. I am also going to be doing this. So go on this journey with and strive toward SOUL INTEGRITY...Are you with me?

Jesus has made me a kind-hearted person, full of encouragementand eager to inspire any person who gets within ten feet of me. Jesus has made me smart enough to know that I need Him-desperately and fully. And Jesus has assigned all of us the important job of representing Him to this world, which means we re-represent Him everywhere we go.

Lysa Terkeurst "Unglued"

Check out Lysa's book: http://www.ungluedbook.com/

2013 is going to be full of New Adventures.....

First off, Happy New Year! 2013 is going to be the Best Year You have Ever Seen!

Have you ever travelled in an area that you have never been too or not familiar with?  I am there now  unsure on my next move but putting one foot in front of the other and following God's lead all the way.

I have started and embarked on a new adventure that is Spirit led on my path of being a Homemaker aka "stay at home mom" that includes home management and organizing our lives to run more efficient, Meal Planning and living by a budget, home schooling my toddlers, and but most importantly striving toward being a Proverbs 31 Woman which my marriage and children are my #1 ministry.

2012 was my year of preparation for what I am embarking on for 2013. In a few short weeks I will start homeschooling my tot and then by fall I will be full speed ahead with my wings spread wide heading into 3 day a week preschool. I never thought I would even do anything like this. I remember growing up in my church and hearing some people speak of homeschooling but never thought that would be something for me to do someday. So here I am, obeying the still small voice "this is my purpose for such a time as this"...

The other thing that God has laid on my heart is relearning how to become a better me, wife, and mother. I have always loved to organize but didn't really know how to organize my family & home... So my other goal is that in one year from this week that my house would be organized. Learning to manage my home and family is vital. When you get married and have children we always tell ourselves "I was never given a manual to raise my children or how to be a wife" but that is not true...God's word is our manual from being a woman of faith, what is expected in a marriage for men and woman, how to raise your children, to love, to forgive, and the list can go on. I have always had the manual but I don't think I really took the time to study the manual to figure out how everything works together to glorify God! So here I am on my journey as I crack open the manual, learn how to manage through making my own stuff, to cooking, reading books, motherhood, and being a good wife that loves the Lord with all her heart. Not just saying it but actually walking & speaking it...I hope you join me on my travels and I am always open to new ideas....

God Bless

Liz

Finding Grace......

"God loves you, God love you now.God loves you when you're unglued.God loves you when you stuff. God loves you when you explode. He loves when you exemplify soul integrity., and He loves you when you don't. He loves you. He loves you. he loves you. He loves you so much that He refuses to leave you stuck in this place. Take His hand, trust His love, and walk in the beautiful opportunity for imperfect progress." Lysa Terkeurst

This is the first Online Bible Study, I have ever participated in before. It has been the best thing I have ever done...Lysa's book "Unglued" has challenged me with each word, sentence, paragraph, and chapter that I read. I have never highlighted and wrote so many notes like I am studying to become a Dr or something. I am not studying to become a dr but I did discover my new committment to myself to be imperfect progress and I have to remind myself the following:

1. God Loves Me UNCONDIONALLY! His mercies are new every morning!
2. To give grace & love to others
3. To Pause-STOP!, Needs Perspective, and Then Respond

I have always been a type of person that can easily come unglued but through this journey that I choose forgive myself and give grace to others. The hardest thing to do in my life is forgive myself and honestly showing grace through my actions & words. I know that it took years to become the person I am today and I know that boom I wake up and I am new person. But everyday I have a choice I have to make. The choice to control my raw emotions instead of allowing them to control me and how I treat others around me. Everyday is a new day. Thank you to Lysa for making me see the truth about myself, laughing and even times of tears (of course from laughing-) Thank you Melissa, for being a great leader and posting words of encouragement daily! You have been a blessing to me!

I know that Unglued will be a book that stays very close to my purse, my nightstand, and my desk!

I can't wait until we start the OBS of  "The Greater" -

Seeking Him First,
Liz

Being Chiseled....

My beautiful daughter demonstrated what I felt like yesterday....lol 

I have a 2 1/2 yrs old that is at that perfect season in her life where she is immatiating everything I say and do. If you are a mother you know that right now is very challenging time for me. Whichever my attitude is, it's mocked back at me. Whatever I say, is mocked backed at me. Yesterday, was my Unglued Moment....I look back my unglued moment was mocked back at me to a point that the tension in my house was high and the plans we had for last night to leave and go to the grandparents house was cancelled. Which ended up being the best thing ever. Bath time came earlier, the lights came down sooner than normal, and both kids were sleeping by 8:30pm...When I laid my head on my pillow, I felt very numb that I acted the way I did and asked myself a very important question,  how I reacted today of being tired and stress is that how I want my daughter to react to situations? Answer HECK NO! So.I rehearse these words to myself today from Lysa.."A bad moment doesn't make a bad mom." Just because I had a bad day (moments) doesn't mean God doesn't love me or that He is done working on me but just the opposite...God is still chiseling me because I am His Masterpiece and here is my imperfect progress.....

So what I am taking away from Lysa's book "Unglued" and how it has impacted my life literally....

God's Word tells us to speak to that mountain and it will be thrown into the sea...Speaking God's Word over my lives each day is vital! 

As a teenager our youth leader took me to school one day and spoke these exact words Lysa used in Ch 7..."Remember who you are & Act like it..." I have never had anyone speak that to me...

To me I am taking Ch 7 as my confession of Faith: 

• Here I am...I am a Child of God and one bad moment is NOT going to DICTACTE who I am!
• Remember WHO I AM! 
• CRY OUT TO JESUS because there is POWER IN HIS NAME!
• The Battle doesn't belong to me and it's not my job to fix my husband, my children, my friends, our families...it's God's job!
• My job is to seek & obey God! 
• Praise God daily and full of thanksgiving-It takes my focus off the situation and onto God who is resolving the situation/circumstances. 
• My Reaction determines my Reach! 
• God has placed these little people in my life and I influence them...So it's important to remember-I may feel ALARM but RESOLVED!

I love this sentence that Lysa says on page 116

"My REACTIONS testify to the kind of relationship I have with Jesus and the effect HE has on my heart"

Only way that can happen is taking time out and sitting at His feet each and every day! You can't know someone if you don't sit and learn. If you want to be like Jesus, I have to sit at His feet and swallow up everything He wants to teach me and show me. 

Be GRATEFUL for what I have...

When I was 17 yrs old, I went on a mission trip to Russia. I look at my photobooks and remember the depression that lays on that country but I also remembering seeing and experiencing God first hand. Just because that happen to me then doesn't mean God is done with me today. I felt for so long that God was done with me because I made choices in my life that didn't line up with His WORD! GOD isn't done with me and he sure is not done with you! This is just the beginning! God has BIG Things for US ALL! 

SO what am I grateful for: 

That my husband is a man after God's own heart

My beautiful children-for a period of time I thought I would never have children! God gave me my 1st baby at 34 yrs old and my 2nd at 36 yrs old! GOD IS GOOD! 

My home

That I get to be alive and breathe on my own, I can walk, I can talk, I can read! 

I am thankful for a vehicle so my husband can go to work everyday and work hard in providing for us 

I may slip and fall and not handle things the way God would like me to but I am a working progress and to me that means I am learning & growing & acknowledging that I have a lot of room for improvement! God is far from done with me...I am HIS WORKMANSHIP created in CHRIST...Father God, chisel away...

Seeking HIM first, 

Liz 

Getting a Grip.......

I Peter 5:8 
⁸ Be on your guard (self-controlled) and stay awake. Your enemy, the devil, is like a roaring lion, sneaking around to find someone to attack. 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁸ Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [^[a]in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour.

This verse is our memory verse for Unglued Bible Study. I thought I would share here what this verse means to me. 
  
We are being instructed to be on guard, in control of ourselves in the way we respond to situations. Not only that be cautious and alert of our surroundings. As a woman when we are walking at night we are making sure we have our keys ready for self defense, we are looking around for a moment where we can become under attack. It is our natural instincts to be on guard. Now that is what we are being instructed to do with the devil.  Be on high alert and ready for anything. The most important part in this verse to me is to BE IN CONTROL and ALERT! The devil is constantly looking for ways to trip me up and throw distractions in my path. My husbands has always told me my biggest downfall is the way I react to people and the situations. He has always encouraged me to get in control and I would see more positive outcome...My excuse of not being in control would be "they just know what buttons to push so if they would stop pushing my buttons then I wouldn't had to yell or scream at them..." (Exploder that Blames Others).  

So being on guard (in control) and alert that gives me time to Pause-Stop-Breathe in & out-gain perspective and then Respond to the situation!I actually have a note on my computer to remind me daily! With these steps it reminds me daily the person I want to be; A Woman of God that responds & reacts with Soul Integrity. 

This past week I had to put into practice what I have read. I chose to stay calm and not have a unglued moment even though I was really hurt because I felt I had been bluntly lied too by a "friend." I had to sit down and actually write a letter to this "friend" and try to communicate gracefully. I sat down and prayed and followed the template laid before us. I prayed over my email and consulted my husband before I sent it. Even though, it was a very difficult email to send but it was necessary for me to send it. If I didn't send it, then what would of happened next would be me "stuffing/building barriers." I desire to grow in the Lord and find the balance in my life with Soul Integrity like Lysa spoke of.  

I looked over my notes I wrote for Ch 5. especially the part about the devil was actually our enemy and behind it all. I still knew that I was going to get backlash and explosion from this "friend." Her reaction to my email was worse than I could of imagine. Her words were beyond repair. The crazy thing is, in the past I would usually come back swinging with words and daggers just like her but instead I felt a peace over my mind and spirit. I was calm. I prayed and repeated to myself, Forgiveness is Mandatory but Reconciliation is Optional. 

Between the situation and reading Chapter 5 this is what I took from it all....everything is a choice. I can't always control the situation but I can control myself. I have a long way to go but at least I know I am making PROGRESS! Also, my feelings indicators, not dictators! Remembering who the real enemy is...even in the midst of different situations and it is mandatory for me to have that quiet time with God before I deal "with the screaming demands of the world." Following a template and following it....Step out of the battle zone and get quiet with God and have Him help me to get a grip.....


Seeking HIM first,
Liz 

Preparation Never Wasted Time......

Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

 Proverbs 31:28

As a little girl I dreamed of my wedding day and getting married in my 20's, having a white house with a white picket fence in the front, and two children to complete my family.  Funny thing is I didn't find my Prince Charming until I was in my 30's. I had a practice run in my 20's but it was more learning lessons and discovery who I was as a person. I was 31 yrs old, I remember sitting in my house alone & crying out to God how all I wanted was to meet the man God had for me and having my family just like my dream. Now, the funny thing is I didn't realize that all that time I felt alone and questioning God every chance I got. I look back now and realize God was in the middle of preparation for the biggest challenge of my life....

The first big challenge, was learning how to be a good wife. Now it is easy to fall in love & plan for that special day where you and your man become one in the sight of God. Most people put more time & energy in planning for their wedding day than planning for their marriage. I was as guilty as the next one. The difference is, now I am planning & changing becoming the wife that God has called all wives to be. My goal is to become the Proverbs 31 woman that prayed for her husband & her children called her "BLESSED." So I am a working progress.....

The Second Big Challenge, was becoming a mother for the first time. I remember the excitement of learning that I was pregnant. I remember looking at my husband and saying I am carrying my baby girl. The joy I felt when I seen that ultrasound of my baby girl. We fell in love with her before we even seen her. I knew she was healthy and beautiful. On January 15, 2010, she made her entrance into our lives that changed us forever. She was perfect and actually a easy baby. We watched her grow, learn, and love. Now almost 3 yrs later, she knows ..."she is important, she is beautiful, she is kind, and she is loved."

The Third and Biggest Challenge of all, was learning that I was carrying my second child. We had more feelings sweeping through us during this pregnancy than the last. How do you transition from one child to two. I spoke with other mom's and read as much as I could. The excitement actually seeing my baby boy in the ultrasound was overwhelming. I knew in my heart I had my complete family. On Oct 5, 2010, my baby boy Mason James made his entrance and completed our family. He has been more challenging for us and the transition honestly has been hard. BUT I am the proudest mom ever to have this little loving creature wrapped around my heart, soul, and body. His first months were hard due to his colic but he got through it. He is so sensitive, loving, and his laugh just melts my heart completely. His cries for "momma" has brought me to my knees asking God for guidance and teaching me to be a better mom.

My children have taught me so much. I know they will teach others and bless others like they have blessed our families. Maddie & Mason love singing, playing music instruments and of course dancing. Having two walking toddlers, their is never a dull moment. You never know what is going to happen next or what is going to come out of their mouth. Especially, Maddie. She is the stage of repeating everything...literally everything...When daddy works over and we have our quiet moments we rehearse the day that might be full of frustrations but what we remember the most of the day is the joy that our kids have brought to our lives. We sit and laugh over what each of them might of done or said and that to me is the GREATEST JOY every! 

We give God Almighty all the glory for the days of preparation was not wasted time at all sometimes I feel I could of taken a little more in but that's okay because I am still learning and growing and becoming the wife and mother that my family needs. Honestly, that is all that matters.

Happy 1st Birthday to my baby boy....MASON JAMES! 

You are IMPORTANT, You are handsome, You are kind, You are loved!

Seeing Myself As God Sees Me Not My Labels

Labeling myself has been the hardest challenge to overcome. Lysa's book hit in on the nail with me on labeling. I came from a dysfunctional family not that my parents weren't good parents but a lot of my labeling came from the situations I grew up in. The labels have stayed with me well into my adulthood. Mental Illness is in a lot of my family members and it was very important to me not to be compared to the rest of my family. More out of fear that people would see me like the rest of them. "I was better than that" but in all actuality I lived in fear of being mental ill. I would become so angry and explode my frustration mainly at my mom because I fought so hard not be like everyone and her. I was more concern what my phony self was showing people especially my "church family." I seeked acceptance from everyone. I didn't want people to think I was a complete wreck inside. So on the outside I walked it, talked it but really inside I was these exact labels:

• people pleaser - I would say this one my #1 label
• very insecure 
• I am not going to be like my mother or my family
• I was afraid ppl thought I was crazy - so I would hide my aggressions
• Outcast
• Stupid

I lived in fear and when I read this section I understood that really I was just being a prisoner in my own body. Not being who God created me to be. One other sentence that really stuck out to me is "How we act is how we label ourselves." Now this me hit me in the forehead literally :). I looked at how I treated the ones I loved; my mom, my husband, my children and the relationships I have with my family. I look back and was like, how did they ever put up with me?  There was times I was completely out of control and angry at the whole world. Walked around with a chip on my shoulder. Now I am not saying I have completely changed that behavior  because I see the that I still can get moody & irritable when I am under stress. I have a very hard time dealing with stress. When my stress level elevate so does my voice & frustrations...which leads to outburst...

So each day that I wake up, I have to choose to put God 1st and let HIM chisel me where I need it the most. Can't have a Testimony without a Test. Throwing the old self behind me and put the new man on....Seeing myself as God sees me. Beautifully made for Him and bring Him glory. That doesn't mean I don't have my days because honestly today was one of those days when I felt a bit tested and unglued. I sit here reading all these beautiful blogs and reread the sections that I underlined; I feel completely encouraged that God is not done with me yet! I challenge each of us to see ourselves as Father God sees us....an apple in His eye and a very precious jewel....

Until Next Time,
Liz