Feeling a bit Unglued at Times

"Wise people store up knowledge, But the mouth of the foolish is near destruction"  Prov 10:14

I started a bible study on the book "Unglued" by Lysa Terkeurst. This book has really helped me in so many ways. I have always been an outspoken and at times be very explosive in my words toward anyone that crossed my path. I would try so hard not too but I had a really hard time holding my tongue and temper. I have ruined relationships because I was too outspoken or said things that I didn't mean to say but I said them anyway. I have prayed for years that I would just learn to hold my tongue but it never truly came until I understood that their has to be a balance in my life. I finally got to a point that I just gave up and had a chip on my shoulder and didn't care how it effected people. So many times my emotions were running crazy and out of control especially during and after each of my pregnancy. I could tell people didn't really wanted to talk to me but felt obligated.

Then I started reading this book. Everything changed. I was listening to K-love on the internet and went to their website seen this book and read a little bit about it. I felt like I finally found something that could help me and not just for a moment or for a season but really change me inside. I ordered it and started in on it. Now I am in the bible study that is awesome. Not only do I feel like I am not alone I feel like God has something to tell me and he really is going to make me WHOLE inside! See God knew the mess I would be in from my childhood on up but HE (GOD ALMIGHTY) wasn't going to leave me in that mess on the inside. He is making me whole just like the blind man that Jesus healed when he spit in his eyes in Mark 8.

Another thing, I am holding onto is I am an Imperfect Progress. What does imperfect progress means  to me? It means to me  that I am accepting the challenges on this journey with God and other ladies that I have never met and we live all over the world. We are coming together as One in Christ and we are putting one foot in front of the other. Ps. 37:23 "The steps of a good man (woman) are ordered by the Lord.." I can't run up the steps or leap  or skip a step; we have to take one step at a time so we don't miss what God has for us. Praise God for steps! For the first time in my life, I am  literally seeing myself as God sees me a Beautiful Jewel that is Precious to Him. Since I have gotten this book, doors have opened like never before. My eyes have been opened up to Proverbs 31 ministry and to a whole new world of women who are just like me. No matter what stage of life all of us women are in, God is expressing and showing us that no matter how many times we might fall, He is there with His arms wide open and telling us how much we are worth ! We have to keep moving the line forward and  pick ourselves up and do it again just like the Prodigal Son.

I am going to close with this Praise Report of what Unglued has done for me: In the last couple of months I have seen and experience God restore relationships that I thought would never be restored. A few years ago, I went from having hurt feelings, to hurting people in my family with my explosive words and outburst. My brother n law and sister n law are a lot younger than me and honestly I didn't know how to handle being older than them and understand the important role I had. Anyway, my husband and I had set up a meeting to deal with the disagreement and fighting. My husband and I even prayed at the table together before we left.  My emotions were already high  due to giving birth to my daughter a couple months earlier.  No excuse but I lost control literally. I said and did things I didn't even mean. So for about 2 years, we spoke causally & cordially with each other but the Wall of Jerico was around us with a very thick wall of tension until the last couple of months. God started convicting my heart to make things right with them. I called my sister n law, humbly asked for forgiveness and made things right with them both. God told me it wasn't good enough to just apologize but actions spoke louder than words. When I read the book, "Unglued" and I read "Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace...imperfect progress." This sentence changed my outlook completely.

So I took one baby step at a time and watched God do the rest. Now,  we get the together with them and my other sister n law and boyfriend, my mother and father n law once a month. We are talking, texting, and planning things to do together. We call each other and spend time together. We are becoming sisters that God intended for us. God is so good and I am so thankful for her. God has restored what I thought was definitely destroyed from my mouth.

I look forward and seeing God change me, mold me, I come with a heart like a sponge reading this book and learning from other ladies just like me.  Seeing God make each of us whole inside and out.

Until Next Time

Admiration & Respect

My challenge this week is to list 5 things I admire about my husband.
One thing I remember, is my Pastor always preached about how a wife is suppose to love, respect, admire Her husband. Through this series I have seen and learned to really show him how just as much attention as I do my children. Having balance is importance. Now I am far from perfect. I still have days that trip me up & I am not a very nice person to be around at times but I am definitely growing  and changing. I am not who I use to be that is for sure!

5 Things that I admire about my Husband.....
1. He Is Hardworking; He provides for our family financial and we have security
2. He is our Protector and is an Affectionate Man
3. He loves & plays with our children daily even after a long day at work
4. He is a Praying Man
5. He loves to read & study God's Word.

In the last couple of weeks I have been giving him a card that expresses my love and tells him what a good man he is...I bought the courageous cards from Day Spring. I love them. Since I have gotten them I have been dropping them in his lunch box or have handed them to him. He loves them and really has changed the way we have responded to each other.
God is good! He has really changed us as married couple and how we look at each other in these last couple of weeks! Praise God! But change did not start until I was willing to focus on changing me. Changing my attitude. Praying for Him. Changing the way I look at things. That is when Change came. I thank God for this series because honestly it has taken my marriage to a new level. In the last year or it felt like we were falling apart at the seams and now feels like God has been put everything back in place and has added bonus' attached to it all!  Our marriage and family has literally been stitched together with God's super glue touch. I am sure we are going to have more rough seasons ahead of us but we are learning how to handle those moments differently. Each season we have I pray that we continue to grow deeper together and with God.

Until Next Time

His Divine Appointment

When I was a young girl, my church had a ceremony on "saving yourself until marriage." I participated and we were encouraged to write down what our heart desires were in a husband even the features. My standard list went something like this:

• Husband that works hard
• Husband that can take care of me financially
• He needs to have broad shoulders
• He needs to be able to sing and play instrument to me
• He needs to have blue eyes - so my children can have blue eyes
• He needs to be able to love God and be a man of God

I was 32 yrs old, when I met my husband. I was at crossroads in my life and wasn't sure which way I should go since I had ran so far away from God and His purpose for my life. My husband and I met through mutual friends and in my mind no way he would be a match because he was 8 yrs younger than me. Which ended up being a joke on me. From the first time we met we were stuck like glue.We had never really had a so called "date night."  We hit it off right from the beginning. A connection between us was something I really never felt or had before. He was average height, baby blue eyes, broad shoulders, strong & masculine, sang, played guitar, sense of humor (actually very comical), playful, and above all he had a solid job  as a Correctional Officer.

We spent day and night together for a whole week. Our time spent together felt like our hearts were being weaved together carefully and gently by God Himself. Through one of our many talks,  he shared the fact that when he was young he accepted Jesus in his heart.  Talk about Divine Appointment. My heart stopped and soaked up that moment in time literally. My mind and spirit were finally at peace. The memories that were created that week I will never  ever forget and will always treasure those moments. He made me feel like a princess literally, He was my knight and shining armor in the flesh. He was the man of my dreams but stop there. I backed off. I knew I had to stop and put my face back into reality and make a solid & wise decision at those crossroads. SO, I took a weekend to myself and faced God for the first time. Asked Him, What I should do. I ended a relationship that truly wasn't going anywhere and was a waste of my time. My heart yearned and seek and I found the man that God had for me. Divine Appointment was set. Answers to my prayers met.

So we picked up where we ended on Friday and a new beginning started on Monday. Our week turned into months and then I found out I was expecting our baby. Everything seemed to fall into place. I felt great and everything seemed wonderful. On Jan 29, 2008, we were suppose to go out for my birthday but because of feeling weezy we spend the evening home. My mother came over to visit that night and my knight & shining armor had a surprise up his sleeve literally. He got down on one knee and asked me to become his wife. Of course tears of joy overwhelmed me as I said yes. In the coming weeks, we experienced deep sadness as we lost our baby but within months our sadness was turned to complete happiness. We decided to say "I do" in front of our close family & friends.

If people don't believe in Miracles and how God can turn situations around...I am a perfected example of what God is able to do. My husband is literally my BEST FRIEND, who has my admiration, respect and love unconditionally no matter what the situation may be .

Until Next time

Humble......

My devotion this morning was of James 4:7-10.

One of the hardest things in my life was submission. To me I had not totally understood what that word meant. I actually became scared literally of submission. To me to submit meant to obey something or someone. Which really that is not what God meant for us at all. What was demonstrated in my life was abuse of submission and God says, let me heal you of this and show you what it truly means to submit to me and my word.

So what is submission. In the dictionary online, Submission is defined as an act or instance of submitting, the condition of having submitted, conduct or attitude.

Now that doesn't sound that bad. I have had it all wrong all this time. Basically I take it that is really is just the attitude of the heart.  So all God really wants us to do is let our guard down, trust him completely and keep our attitude in check. But my fist was gripped so tight I was wouldn't let go of the control of actually allowing God to love me and show me His way.  So, I feel like I am jumping out of the airplane with my parachute on, I jump. My arms are stretched out and my body is completely parallel to ground below me and I say out loud and to myself "Here I am Lord, use me, mold me, change me, I submit my ALL to the Potter's Hand!

James 4:7-10
Submit to God & then Resist the devil & he will flee (run) from you.
Draw near to God, He will draw near to you
New King James: Cleanse your hands, you sinners;
Message: So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin.
New King James: Purify (free from anything that pollutes, from from guilt or evil, to clear or purge, and to make clean) your hearts, you double –minded,  Lament & mourn & weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
Message: Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.
 New King James: Humble (not proud or arrogant, courteously respectful, small in a size) yourselves in the sight of the Lord, He will lift you up
Message:  Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?  - OUCH!

 My prayer:
My Lord Jesus Christ,
I humbly come before you and thank you for your unconditional love and forgiveness. According to your word in I JN 1:9 “if I confess my sins you are faithful and just to forgive me of ALL my sins and cleanse me from ALL unrighteousness” I stand in your presence in awe of you and ask you for forgiveness for my hidden resentment and discontentment, the way I have conducted myself in word and in deed (action).  I thank you Heavenly Father that I can again stand righteous in my relationship with you and be pure in heart and submit myself completely to You and your Word! I love you Lord!
In Jesus Name I Pray,
Amen
Until Next Time.....

Virtuous Woman

"A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds"

Proverbs 31:10 -Message

When I was 11 yrs old, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Throughout the years, my walk with the Lord was difficult and was a raging roller coaster due to how I viewed myself.  I constantly compared myself to others and was  more concern about "keeping up with the Jones"and fitting in with my peers. Which is extremely hard to do as a teenager. I did amazing things as a teenager for the Lord but I also did not fully grasp His love and His acceptance for me until my children were born.

So when I heard this verse for the first time when I was a teenager I told myself I could never be a virtuous woman because I wasn't good enough. Not realizing and fully understanding then what I know now that God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34) and what he does for one of His children He will do for the other.

I grew up in a Word Church but unfortunately along the way I believed the lies that I told myself, my environment more than I believed what God's Word said about WHO I WAS in Christ! I heard this recently, why do you think the devil works so hard to defeat you and bring you down....Because God has plans for your life and it is easier to throw distractions in your path to deter you away from God's purpose in your life.

From age 29-32 yrs old I ran completely away from God just like a football player running with the ball trying to reach that touchdown line that was me running hard and fast away from God Almighty. I lost my purpose and I didn't want to hear anything that God or anyone else had to say.  On my back I carried a heaviness of bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, and resentment. In my running season I ran smack into the arms of my loving husband. Yep! God always has a way to bring you back to Him even using situations and people to do so. When I was dating my husband I learned he was raised in a Baptist Church and has a heart after the Lord but due to unfortunate situations out of his control as a young man that relationship he once had with Jesus was temporary out of the picture. Until smack, he met me. :) See how God works. I had a divine appointment with my Heavenly Father and so did my husband. God knew my heart and knew my deepest desires for a man of God, Godly marriage, and raising children in good Godly home.

At the end of the day my tests in my life brought me back to His feet in a new, fresh anointing that I fully can grasp, love and appreciate now. All the while it brings God the Glory for His goodness! I no longer want or desire to be a lukewarm Christian like Revelation 3:16 speak of. I desire to strive and be more like Jesus in every way. Not basing God's Word on "how I feel or how it makes me feel, or what the situation is" Believing and Trusting Him in everything! So I decided to start reading and allow the Holy Spirit to teach and help me to fully understand Proverbs 31:10-31. For the next 30 days I am taken this challenge in a new light. Seeing God as He sees me - A VIRTUOUS WOMAN of GOD!

Until Next time

Taking One Step at a Time

Since I was a child I loved to write and ramble on paper or actually type on an actual typewriter. My thoughts and feelings would get lost during that time in my life when I felt lost and confused. Now as adult, I return to the love of writing with complete passion and with a better perspective on who I am in Christ, a mother, and a wife. I really hope you decide to follow with me on my journey that I am taking writing these blogs.

For close to two years I have been a Homemaker/Stay at Home mom. I fully didn't understand completely my important role of being  technically "homemaker/stay at home mom" until recently. I have always wanted to be a mom as long as I could remember. In my 20's I became so angry and mad at God for not giving me a baby  and now I just smile and laugh. Realizing that sometimes you need to just go through things to prepare you for better things. Even during those days that I felt mad, I still heard God's still small voice say to me, "it's not time, your day is coming."

Looking back and understanding anyone young girl or woman can get pregnant and have a baby but it stands true it takes a lot of sacrifice, love, patience (which I am still working on), prayer, and lack of sleep to be a mother. The mother's role is deeper than I truly understood until Father God started showing me and telling me it's time to go deeper. Being a mom is also a  spiritual responsibility to your child/children.  I still don't see the big picture of what it takes to be a mother but I am learning day by day by the prompting and teaching of God's Word. God has given us Godly people to learn from and grow in Christ. Technology is great in some ways. We are down to one vehicle and my husband uses it to go to work and provide for his family. So all I have is to rely on other people (which I have always despised to do-just because I hate imposing on people to get me places). For awhile I was becoming angry and mad at the situation instead embracing this season in time.

Until I heard TD Jakes, talk about taking steps in our lives. Not leaps! Steps-one step at a time! Ps. 37:23 "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord." I sat there and listened intently and it felt like I had been asleep for 20 yrs and was just waking up to a fresh pot of coffee. My spirit, soul, and body was jolted and shocked with CPR from my Heavenly Father telling me, "WAKE UP! The Time is NOW!" Wow, refreshed with His Love, His Grace, and His Forgiveness! My road ahead of me is not going to be easy, but I'm holding on to His GRACE  and I know It's only a TEST! I don't have to feel unglued all the time but learn that my REACTION DETERMINES MY REACH!

Until next time,
Liz